in principle i use photomatix to do tonemapping. The trick is however not to overdoe it - especially the lighting. May i humbly state that when i look to your gallery hdrs this i think is the main problem. If the lighting isn´t right it starts to look weird and you´re getting halos. Sometimes this is OK but that depends on the motiv.
On the other hand when taking your pictures you should also keep in mind that sometimes 3 exposures won´t do the job - you need more. This is a problem that i for myself have much to often. I´m too excited taking the pictures that i forget to watch the histogramm carefully enough - as a consequence afterwards your hdrs become noisy.
I´ve found a great beginners tutorial of ben wilmore an hdr artist here: [link]
i think this video says it all.
making hdrs isn´t hard - the post processing however is - because you have to get a sense of lighting. This for me is the hardest part...